Sore at Heart
by CeliaEquus
Summary: Hermione is in that place between life and death due to a epidemic that has already claimed lives. Lily tries to convince her that she has a reason to return, but will Hermione choose to survive?


**Disclaimer: I don't own any franchises, let alone the Harry Potter one, and I make no money from this. [However, if my readers ever buy any of my published works in the future based on how much they may like my stories, I shall unquestionably make money from that.]**

"Sore at Heart"

"Am I dead?" Hermione asked. Lily Potter shook her head. "Then why are you here? And… and why am _I_ here?" She looked around the misty area, a bright light to the left and what looked like a Pensieve on the right.

"You're dying, Hermione," Lily said.

"So I fell sick, too?"

"Yes. But you can fight this."

"No one else has," Hermione said, walking to the Pensieve. "Everyone else who's fallen sick has died. Hannah, Dennis, Padma… Professor Vector." She wiped away a tear. "I know that the people from St. Mungo's are doing everything they can. So are Madame Pomfrey and Professor Snape."

Now she was leaning over the bowl and looked down at her ever-weakening body. She was surprised to see that Severus was standing beside her bed, and turned away quickly, her heart breaking. He was shaking his head. She turned her angry eyes on Lily.

"You couldn't have loved him?" she said. "He only ever loved you… and you couldn't even bring yourself to forgive him for one mistake? It's just a word!"

"Hermione," Lily began, but she was ignored.

"I loved him," Hermione said, pointing at the Pensieve. "I would have given him everything if he'd asked it of me, but he'd never look at me twice. He'll go on loving you forever, even… even though you're _dead_."

"You will be dead soon if you do not fight this sickness," Lily said, stepping forward. She looked down at the vision of Severus speaking to Hermione's body.

"It's too strong," she said, looking at the light. "And why should I go back? Ron's dating someone at the Ministry, and I only have my brains to recommend me. What's a career without a family to work for?" She touched the edge of the bowl. "I wanted him to love me."

"Ron?"

"No," Hermione said. "Severus. But then I saw his memories of you, saw just how much your death affected him. I saw his Patronus." Her knuckles were turning white as she gripped the Pensieve. "I saw his devotion. No one can top that. No one could ever replace you in his heart," she looked at Lily, "let alone me. I've got plain brown hair, plain brown eyes, and I'm an 'insufferable know-it-all'. Oh, and I'm a Gryffindor, and one of your son's best friends. No wonder he hates me." She sighed. Lily smiled.

"He doesn't hate you," she said. She tapped the surface of the image and they were able to hear some of his words.

"Not another one…" he whispered. "…Lily…"

"See?" Hermione said, pointing down. "Even when I'm dying, he… he can only think of one person. He loves _you_!"

"Calm down!" she said, grabbing Hermione's hands. "Can't you see that your agitation is killing you?"

"Then go away."

"No. Listen to him."

"Can't happen… not again…" he continued, sinking into the chair beside Hermione's bed.

"He doesn't want another student to die," Hermione said, her heart clenching for the dark man so seemingly affected by her illness. "Oh, I hope he finds the cure."

"You must help him find the cure," Lily said, pushing her closer. "Go back to him."

Hermione scoffed. "You make it sound like he gives a damn whether I die or not."

"He _does_."

"He said your name…"

"Then. Listen. Again."

They leaned closer and Lily tapped the surface again. Now his words were clearer.

"Not after I lost Lily," Severus said, his voice sounding thicker than usual. He suddenly clasped Hermione's hand. "Don't make me lose another one. If it happened to me again…"

"But… you didn't die of this sickness," Hermione said, frowning.

"He's not talking about the sickness," Lily said. "And you're supposed to be a know-it-all?"

"Then what's he…"

"He _loves_ you, Hermione," she said, green eyes blazing. "Aren't you listening? Aren't you watching? Look at him!"

Hermione rubbed her hand as she studied the scene before her. Severus was rubbing her fingers and palm, all the while watching her face.

"Please don't leave me, Hermione," he said. She gasped when she saw the tears on his cheeks. "Don't die."

"I can't believe it," she said. "He can't be saying this. It's all in my head."

"He stopped loving me after he died," Lily said. "I did love him, but I had to protect him – protect both of us – from his housemates. Voldemort was getting stronger, and the Slytherin students were getting bolder and more dangerous. So I pushed him away to keep him safe, believing it to be temporary." She traced the edge of the Pensieve. "But by the time we left Hogwarts I was in love with James, and I couldn't have gone back to Severus even if I'd wanted to. He had already become a Death Eater. Then he became the Order's spy, except we never saw him after we went into hiding. I'll always regret letting my fears get the best of me." She looked down at Hermione, who was still staring at the man they both loved. "You can still live, if you try. Because if you die, he'll blame himself for yet another death that couldn't be prevented. You don't want him to feel that kind of guilt again, do you?"

"Of course not!" Hermione said, finally looking up. "I love him too much for that. I… I would have tried to make him happy. Given the chance…" She swayed towards the vision.

"Don't give up now," Lily said. "Just wake up, Hermione. I love you."

"What?" she said, looking at Lily. But it wasn't Lily Potter's voice that she heard now. It was someone else's.

"I love you, Hermione. Please come back to me. _Please_!"

She gasped. Everything had disappeared in that one moment. Now she was staring at something quite different: the ceiling of the Hogwarts infirmary, with the dim candles acting as the only source of light. Fresh air filled her lungs, and she could feel the coarse bed sheets against her bare lower legs.

"Wha…" Her voice was so dry. Shaking hands pressed a goblet to her lips, and she drank a few sips of water before she pushed it away. She cleared her throat and looked up. Through the darkness she could see a pale face. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness, she realised who it was. "Professor Snape?"

"You're alive," he said. The tension seemed to drain out of his body. "Thank the gods. Herm… Miss Granger…"

"She's awake?" Madame Pomfrey said, hurrying over. Severus stepped back, scowling at the witch. "Miss Granger, how do you feel?"

"I… I don't know…"

"Perhaps we should give her some time to work it out," the potions master said. His voice was cold once more, his posture stiff, and he wasn't looking at Hermione. Her heart sank. So she _had_ just imagined it.

"Thank you, sir," she mumbled. He nodded, still not looking at her, and strode to the doors of the hospital wing.

* * *

><p><strong>I'm leaving it there. And I'm now running away…<strong>

**(See why I put the disclaimer at the beginning?)**


End file.
